FRATPACKER WORLD.

ARE WE TOO SCARED TO INVEST ANYMORE

They say, “The problem is you’re looking for love in Gauteng and Gauteng is made for business, not for love.”, and they might be right, but I look at it in a unique way. Let’s say we do look at love like a business, which I don’t think is a problem, the problem is we look at love like it’s a business we are working for and not a business of our own that we are trying to build and grow into a successful and long-lasting business. It sounds all over the place but as the kids say, “Let me cook.”.

I believe in love. All forms of love but today we are speaking on romantic love. You know, find a partner, get married, share a life together forever type love. I believe this love still exists in 2026 but as the minority. We used to love, love and being in it but in the past 6 years (yes, COVID f*cked everything) it feels like we are more in-lust with love than we are in-love with it. What do I mean by this? Well, let’s break down the definition of lust; “An intense, overwhelming craving or desire.”, I believe we all have an intense craving and desire for love or to be in-love but not really in-love with the process and the challenges of love or being in-love. Why do I believe this is the case? Well, I believe it has everything to do with the false belief of having a huge ocean with a variety of fish to choose from.

Like I stated earlier, it all started with COVID. During lockdown we were all stuck in our houses with nothing to do but watch TV and our phones. TV, I love and will always defend. Our phones though…a different story. Before COVID Instagram was more a of scrapbook album, a place for one to explore the world of creativity. Yes, we had Man Crush Mondays, Woman Crush Wednesdays and Thirst Traps but it still felt like there was an innocence of, “We don’t know what we’re doing here but just having fun.”, that we were just posting and discovery how far this platform can really go. It felt pure even if it really wasn’t that pure because we were still in an era of being outside and touching grass as the kids say. Once we were forced to stay indoors, we were able to really indulge in our phones and social media. We started seeing how far it can go in the type of content we see and how far that content can go. The lives, the over sexualisation, the flip that was done on OnlyFans, the DM slides. It became a battlefield and wh*re zone out there for all genders and sexual preferences. It sounds harsh but the reality is during that lockdown period so much temptation was being thrown left, right and centre that it started to feel like all these platforms; Instagram, X formerly known as Twitter, Snapchat and Tik-Tok started feeling like the new age Pornhub.

It wasn’t just the old age model of, “sex sells”, being hyperbolised but that of relationships as well. People showing off how much they love their partners, the expensive gifts and lavish trips, the ideal household, the way your man should treat you, the way your woman should treat you, what should give you the ick, gender role debates, which ethnicities you would or wouldn’t date, which countries you want to go date in, girlfriend and boyfriend allowances and so much more that spoke on everything except the actual art of loving and being loved. All these things had us debating not just online but with ourselves on what we want, need, envision and realistic views on love and relationships. We started seeing life through our phones instead of our eyes and lived experiences. We started lusting after the possibilities of options out there, whether it be romantic or sexual. It started feeling increasingly like what used to be seen as investing into someone and something was now called settling.

It was easier for people to let go and move on, instead of fighting through to achieve something greater on the other side. Now don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t settle in a place where you aren’t being loved, cared for and cherished but what does that look like today with so many new standards, opinions and voices out there. How do you decide this when every other second there’s a new podcast, tweet, post all saying something different. How do you realise you have the catch of your life in a partner when an ocean filled with a variety of fish is easily available on your phone, whether it be through social media or dating apps. It’s easier to lust in 2026 than to love, so much so that people even lust after a love they already have but can’t see it because of everything else that is being thrown at us.

I remember growing up and being taught that love is one of the biggest investments you could make in your life. Taking time, energy, money, attention, care and passion to get to learn someone and love them not just for their good, virtues and perfections but for their bad, vices and flaws as well. To also teach someone who you are, how to love you, your dreams, goals, visions, flaws, perfections, vices, virtues, bad and good. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was love but nowadays it’s so easy to say, “Why do I have to teach you my love language or how to love me? Why can’t you just know? Why do you still have to learn? There’s someone in my DMs willing to love me how I need to be loved right now.”. It feels like we’ve lost the art of love and being in it.

I don’t know maybe we aren’t invested in love anymore but in our happiness and the problem is happiness is volatile and fleeting. The feel doesn’t stay forever. It comes and it goes. It’s a feeling that you must keep on searching for but with love…well love is everlasting it doesn’t die and to achieve something so timeless, you must put that same amount of effort and time in. Maybe we feel like the world is decaying and there isn’t much time left for anything so why invest that much time into something and someone. Maybe we have a collective healing to do. Maybe we need to get off the phones and touch grass with someone we genuinely like and have a genuine interest in and define our own languages of love. I don’t know what the solution is, but I do know that most.  of us is in lust of love, but we need to find our love for love again. We need to invest in the idea of love again. If anything, I hope you loved this article and reminds you of what love can be and look like.